CLOWNS PC

[commedia]

look i will find or make a shitpost i will

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[raws]

[ Whaaaaat?? ]

What did he do?

[commedia]

We were fighting this demon, and he just got whacked with something...well, honestly, I didn't see the whole thing. But afterwards, the System said he was poisoned.

[And he laughs.]

And you know what the cure is? Hahaha. I tried to offer it to him multiple times! He's thinking about it. You see, if he doesn't want to die...well, well! He has to have some form of sex. Isn't that funny?

[raws]

[ LMAO ]

Is that so? And he didn't want you?

[ Is Lucilius' life in danger... This is funny. ]

[commedia]

Well, he seemed to start considering it when we came back. I guess we'll see if he views his life more valuable than not letting someone have their way with him.

[raws]

Is that so? [ He's SO interested. ] And just how long does he have against this poison?

[commedia]

Mmm. I'm not sure, but probably only a few days at most?

[raws]

That's not much time.

[ He strokes his chin. ]

You need to get between his legs as soon as possible.

[commedia]

[He rests his chin on his hand, pouting slightly.]

He's so hard to crack, though. Mmm. I can charm a demon wife, but that man wants to make his grave and lie on it.

[raws]

Trust me, I know. I've had to live with him for hundreds of years.

[ Hmmm. ]

Perhaps you should charm him with actions. Bring him gifts, kiss his hand.

[commedia]

Ohhhh? You? Now you didn't tell me that I was stealing your husband, nnnn.

[He seems very amused by this, though.]

I don't even know what gifts he even likes. An antidote? Haha.

[raws]

Husband? He's more like... My father. [ ;) ] If you could devise an antidote I'm sure he would be completely charmed.

[ Here's a cursed suggestion: ]

Perhaps you could bottle your spend for him to take in lieu of sex?

[commedia]

Your father? My, my. Scandalous.

[and. belial. no]

Haha! I could see him now! He'd just toss it right on the ground in front of me!

[raws]

You don't need to tell him the exact details.

[ This would be SO funny. ]

[commedia]

Mmmm, perhaps, but I think at this point he wouldn't trust anything that comes from my hands.

[raws]

[ He sighs. ]

True. He's a prickly cat. How tragic he won't live to see his next birthday.

[commedia]

It is sad, right? And he could have such a nice time with this humble priest, but he continues to be stubborn. How unfortunate.

You couldn't soften him up for me, could you?

[raws]

My heart goes out to you. [ Not that he has one. ] But I suppose I can speak to daddy on your behalf.

Just promise me you'll treat him right.

[commedia]

You really are so kind to me.

[Splaying a clawed hand against his chest in mock gratitude.]

Of course I will. I'll give him the same treatment I gave you. I'm generous that way.

[raws]

[ He was very generous. ;) ]

Well then I trust you completely. Just leave it with me.

[commedia]

Thank you.

[And just reaching over to gently rest a hand on Belial's knee.]

Now, now. You haven't told me about your adventures.

[raws]

[ His touch is so warm and comforting... ]

Mine? Well. [ He taps his chin. ] It wasn't very much exciting, but I did get close with the dead man. I wonder if it was the departure from our lovely vacation that killed him.

[commedia]

[Dead man?]

Departure? Ooh! Tell me more, tell me more!

[raws]

Mugen. [ Small, fluffy hair, gay as hell. ] He tenderly held my hand as we were told about the nature of this place...

But I had to let him go. I guess he couldn't survive it.

[ Actually Mugen was fine? He just disappeared? ]

[commedia]

How sweet. But the nature of this place? So this is indeed something far beyond usual?

[A tilt of the head. No jingling this time, because he removed his bells.]

Survive what?

[raws]

Mm, evidently it's not a place where creatures like ourselves are meant to survive.

[ He strokes his chin. ]

It was fairly difficult to parse. But from what I understood it's friendship that will be our saviour.