PC WITH SHEILA

[commedia]

Comments

[commedia]

No, why would I? You're not like...

[And they stop, but their expression grows a little hard.]

Anyways, like I said. I will not judge you whatsoever. [And a sigh.] Um. I'm...the real Ashiya Douman. Its a pleasure to meet you face to face, Sheila.

[And they actually bow their head! What a polite clown.]

[toesies]

[Because this station is very anti-vore, my dude. She does not say this.]

Okay... Well, it's nice to meet you, too! [She does not bow, but she does wave a little.] Tell me about yourself. What do you like?

[commedia]

[Looks at Ming Yi. Haha! Yeah.]

Um. I like...well, I like quiet places. And my work as an onmyouji, of course. Reading, I suppose.

[They're just....kind of a regular dude?]

[toesies]

... Huh.

[They are such a regular dude. Sheila is shook.]

That's nice...? You know, you should visit the shrine on Lust's floor. I bet that's more your speed.

[commedia]

[SOMETIMES UNDERNEATH ALL THE EVIL CANNIBAL CLOWN IS JUST.....a really decent man.]

Oh, yes! I should. I saw it on the screens. It looked nice.

[toesies]

[She will come to appreciate this decent man, but they are giving her whiplash.]

Then grab your tea to go. We can visit it right now!

[commedia]

Huh?

[What? GOING? HELLO? But they do grab their cup, looking to Sheila expectantly.]

Alright, lead the way?

[toesies]

[She holds out an arm to loop with theirs. Field trip!]

[commedia]

[Wow, arm looping! Okay! They're doing this.]

Is it far from here?

[toesies]

Not too far. Just up the elevator, and through the door.

[commedia]

Oh, its nearby...

[That's nice. As they walk along, Douman hums.]

You know...I'm glad you weren't found out for your secret, Sheila.

[toesies]

Yeah?

[She looks at them curiously while leading the way to the elevator.]

That's sweet. Though, I thought you would be more grossed out by it...?

[Were they an unwilling participant in vore? It is a mystery.]

[commedia]

No, I mean. I...I am, but its more...

[They look very self-conscious, all of a sudden.]

That hunger...I understand it, too. But unlike that curse that was controlling me, I don't want to take nothing but delight in it. I know...you're the same way. Sometimes things happen outside of ourselves that we have no control over.

[Like being possessed by a cannibal clown version of yourself.]

[toesies]

[Douman absolutely wins the sad cannibal backstory competition, tbh. Possession is worse than eating cursed clams and dying.]

Oh... [Sympathetically. She pats their arm with her other hand.] Well, let's look at the bright side. You're not possessed anymore, and you can eat regular food. No more man shaped snacks for you, right...?

[commedia]

[Suddenly...looking very guilty! Like catching a dog in the act of eating something it shouldn't.]

Well, I-I made a mistake after I died, but it...it won't happen again...

[toesies]

[She raises her eyebrows while the elevator carries them up.]

Oh, shit. Did you eat someone in the city?

[commedia]

[Douman looks away, eyes watering a little.]

N-no, not...someone. Just...a part of someone...

[toesies]

[... oh shit.]

Oh my god, don't cry! [THE WORST POSSIBLE OUTCOME.] Hey, hey— It's okay. Their body parts grew back, right? No harm done!

[commedia]

Ah, I'm sorry...the fact that I gave in was terrible enough.

[ITS THE WORST, SHEILA]

Ahh, but...then again, it was Mahito, so...

[They frown. They clearly Do Not Like Mahito.]

[toesies]

Ohh... Sweetie, you should not feel bad for eating Mahito.

[Immediately changing her tone like, no. Douman did a very good thing.]

I would have eaten him, too. He's a piece of shit who preys on teenagers and totally deserves it.

[commedia]

...Eh?

[MOM?? MOM YOU SUPPORT CURSE CANNIBALISM?? Sorry, Douman is just going to gape for a moment.]

Uh. I mean. Yes, that's correct, but...

[A pause.]

He goaded me into doing it.

[toesies]

[It's more that she supports bad things happening to Mahito. She just massages the bridge of her nose, scowling.]

Of course he did. That worthless piece of...

[GRUMBLING. And then she huffs.]

Okay, here's what. If he talks to you again or even breathes in your direction, you tell me and I'll kick him in the balls so hard they shoot out his nostrils and take the furby's eyes out.

[commedia]

...

[Sorry, Douman is so surprised and amused by that mental image that they let out an undignified snort.]

Haha, y-you really would?

[toesies]

Totally! We can't get you a restraining order here, so we gotta improvise.

[commedia]

I don't know what a restraining order is, but...that sounds nice.

[A smile! They feel better.]

Gojou said I should kick him into the blood pool.