I don't know...too much. I know they are gods. And I know that...Qingxuan used to be human, before she ascended into godhood, and became "Lady Windmaster". Her brother controls the seas, and is quite temperamental.
[A pause.]
I know that there was a threat she was running from. A terrible creature that had wanted her power since she was born. She thought ascending would save her, but...it seems the monster is still on her trail.
[Mmmm. Childe's got his gaze fixed on the uglyass vase, though it's distant, as he thinks.]
Her brother is called the Water Tyrant. She's compared me to him multiple times, if that tells you anything.
[That her brother is a terrible person? Yeah basically. (Also I got permission for beefleaf doxxing smdh at britt and snow)]
It's been a while since I saw these memories, and they were, of course, only small parts of the situation. But you're correct--something's been after her since she was very young. [...] Her brother ascended first, and in order to save her... if I understand it correctly, he switched her fate with Ming Yi's--or "He Xuan", whatever name he prefers. Obviously, he didn't take kindly to that, though I don't think she knows what he did to her brother in revenge.
[But he has none trust for anyone and even less for the gods, so he looks a little doubtful even as he says it.]
While I was in jail, I was trying to explain to her that it's pointless to try and justify the choice to kill. I told her that I could've easily framed my kill as a desperate move to return to my family to garner sympathy, if I'd wanted to. [Because it's not entirely untrue? Childe loves his family and very much wants to see them again--but that's besides the point.] She said that her brother had done countless terrible things for her sake, and while she didn't agree with it and "wouldn't make the same choice", she could understand it.
[Except she'd already killed Eleanor by then and doesn't seem to be in any hurry to confess? But is also offering herself up to switch with the dead--for ??? reasons? Fucking gods and their mind games.]
[But this...this all is new. Switching "fates"? How does one do that? Whatever it is, clearly Ming Yi disliked it, and...]
[Well, now. He's not surprised the man would retaliate somehow. Having something so valuable stolen from him and given to another...]
W-what did he do to her brother? [Is the first question, and then...] I...see. So in the end, because she benefited from his actions...she was okay with it.
At some point, he captured both of them, and gave her brother an ultimatum. Either he switched Shi Qingxuan's fate with a madman, or Shi Qingxuan could chop off her brother's head. [...] Her brother tried to kill her instead, so Ming Yi ripped off his arms, then his head, in front of her. Though, as I said, I don't think she's aware of any of this.
[So yeah! That's fun. As is the way he delivers this calmly, like it's any other discussion.]
When we discussed what her brother did, she did seem to feel genuine guilt, and a little resentment. But even I could probably dredge up false emotions if I tried hard enough.
[So, y'know. Emotionshare was a thing, but it's hardly foolproof.]
[WELCOME TO THE BEEFLEAF LORE that Childe is probably misrepresenting because of inherent biases lmao]
I think he just didn't want to listen to Ming Yi. He chose a third path, so to speak--Ming Yi berated him for it, then tore off his arms.
[Honestly relatable, Childe also does not like following the rules if he doesn't have to. As for that, he just kind of... shrugs a little.]
I don't know, exactly. But I don't think she would've tried to tell me she understood my hypothetical way of thinking if she knew her brother's fate. Still, it's not unbelievable that she'd know about any of Ming Yi's choices here, and accept them, too.
He decided to kill the sister he spent time in saving, though??
[SQX'S BROTHER, YOUR LOGIC????]
...I don't know. [And a sigh.] I always thought that she might just be...unknowing. Just out of the loop. But if she knew this whole time, and kept it secret to keep him alive, then...
[Oh, Douman. He smiles, shaking his head a little.]
It could've been a kindness, in his mind. Force your sibling to murder you with their own hands, or strip them of godhood and reduce them to madness--death would be easy, compared to that.
[They're all pretty shitty options!! But Childe doesn't think it's a shocking course of action.
A sigh.]
If you want to give her the benefit of the doubt, blackmail could always be involved. There are any number of ways to buy someone's silence. But she did agree to come here, and she killed Eleanor, apparently with no intention of confessing. Those aren't exactly the choices of a pure heart.
[And they hang their head, eyebrows knitting together. Yes. Even if someone was forcing her into things, she...still killed Eleanor, with no apparent reason for it, and then never even confessed, even though she later stated that she could easily switch places with someone in the graveyard at any time.]
I guess you're right. I had too much faith in her kindness. Now I can see that was more or less a sham.
[It's difficult to tell how Childe's feeling from his expression, as he looks at Douman. He can't pat them on the shoulder or anything, because sticky week--but would he even want to? It's difficult to say.]
...It often is, in my experience. It's why I'm most comfortable with people like Mahito. [Who is not a person, but Douman probably knows what he means.]
It's a bit late for that, comrade. [laughs in abyss.] I wouldn't call it a thrill. But everyone else here lost sight of their goals so quickly, and grew attached to each other. He and I seem to be the only ones who weren't so weak and foolish.
[In his biased and condescending opinion, which isn't even completely true because he's like || this attached to a couple people. But still. His point is that he's not Mahito's BFF 4 Life or anything.]
lifts a hand, pressing it to the back of his mouth to hide his smile.]
That's more or less what I told her, yes. [TERRIBLE.] She was very offended that I implied there was a chance she wouldn't kill me for her goals. That's the only reason we ever got as close as we did--I wouldn't have accepted it otherwise.
[Of course Childe couldn't have a normal fucking ship.
But he also doesn't know that Medb is furious at him for saving himself, so there's that]
Yes, Lust told me as much. It's close enough to the truth, so I told her to let them think what they wanted. [but--] Why was Medb angry about it? Because I didn't tell her?
[congrats Douman you've unlocked the secret "dumb man" side of Childe's personality]
He lifts both hands defensively, though he still looks bewildered. Poor Douman, having to deal with this.]
I was always going to die again shortly after anyway! [HE SAYS, LIKE IT WAS OBVIOUS, because it was.] Besides, just because it didn't stick doesn't mean it didn't count. She did a fantastic job killing me!
[Childe]
There was no use in mentioning it when I didn't even know if it would work or not. Lust told me she'd never seen a condemned survive an execution before. And it could only revive me halfway--they're the ones who brought me to the medical bay.
For someone supposedly so smart, it seems like your head is filled with nothing but air. If she killed you again for your remarkable idiocy, I would say she deserves every moment of that.
Technically, Lust saved me. I didn't ask her for that power.
[SO SOMEONE ELSE DID SAVE HIM by giving him the power to save himself...]
What was I supposed to do, waste it to make them all feel good? [Hah. He would never. And more importantly--] Lust would've been heartbroken. I couldn't do that to her even if I'd wanted to.
[not!sibling takes priority over kinda!girlfriend...]
I'm not saying what you should or shouldn't have done. And Lust made her own decision. I'm calling you an idiot because you couldn't understand why Medb would be upset.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[A pause.]
I know that there was a threat she was running from. A terrible creature that had wanted her power since she was born. She thought ascending would save her, but...it seems the monster is still on her trail.
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Her brother is called the Water Tyrant. She's compared me to him multiple times, if that tells you anything.
[That her brother is a terrible person? Yeah basically. (Also I got permission for beefleaf doxxing smdh at britt and snow)]
It's been a while since I saw these memories, and they were, of course, only small parts of the situation. But you're correct--something's been after her since she was very young. [...] Her brother ascended first, and in order to save her... if I understand it correctly, he switched her fate with Ming Yi's--or "He Xuan", whatever name he prefers. Obviously, he didn't take kindly to that, though I don't think she knows what he did to her brother in revenge.
[But he has none trust for anyone and even less for the gods, so he looks a little doubtful even as he says it.]
While I was in jail, I was trying to explain to her that it's pointless to try and justify the choice to kill. I told her that I could've easily framed my kill as a desperate move to return to my family to garner sympathy, if I'd wanted to. [Because it's not entirely untrue? Childe loves his family and very much wants to see them again--but that's besides the point.] She said that her brother had done countless terrible things for her sake, and while she didn't agree with it and "wouldn't make the same choice", she could understand it.
[Except she'd already killed Eleanor by then and doesn't seem to be in any hurry to confess? But is also offering herself up to switch with the dead--for ??? reasons? Fucking gods and their mind games.]
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[But this...this all is new. Switching "fates"? How does one do that? Whatever it is, clearly Ming Yi disliked it, and...]
[Well, now. He's not surprised the man would retaliate somehow. Having something so valuable stolen from him and given to another...]
W-what did he do to her brother? [Is the first question, and then...] I...see. So in the end, because she benefited from his actions...she was okay with it.
[...How terribly selfish that is.]
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[So yeah! That's fun. As is the way he delivers this calmly, like it's any other discussion.]
When we discussed what her brother did, she did seem to feel genuine guilt, and a little resentment. But even I could probably dredge up false emotions if I tried hard enough.
[So, y'know. Emotionshare was a thing, but it's hardly foolproof.]
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[WHAT IS THIS LORE]
Why would...why would her own brother try to kill her? And why would she...not be aware? Did she forget?
[HOLDING HEAD INTERNALLY THIS IS SO MUCH]
I...she said the same things to Limbo. And I believed her, but now...
[what is the Truth]
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I think he just didn't want to listen to Ming Yi. He chose a third path, so to speak--Ming Yi berated him for it, then tore off his arms.
[Honestly relatable, Childe also does not like following the rules if he doesn't have to. As for that, he just kind of... shrugs a little.]
I don't know, exactly. But I don't think she would've tried to tell me she understood my hypothetical way of thinking if she knew her brother's fate. Still, it's not unbelievable that she'd know about any of Ming Yi's choices here, and accept them, too.
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[SQX'S BROTHER, YOUR LOGIC????]
...I don't know. [And a sigh.] I always thought that she might just be...unknowing. Just out of the loop. But if she knew this whole time, and kept it secret to keep him alive, then...
[There's no excuse for that.]
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It could've been a kindness, in his mind. Force your sibling to murder you with their own hands, or strip them of godhood and reduce them to madness--death would be easy, compared to that.
[They're all pretty shitty options!! But Childe doesn't think it's a shocking course of action.
A sigh.]
If you want to give her the benefit of the doubt, blackmail could always be involved. There are any number of ways to buy someone's silence. But she did agree to come here, and she killed Eleanor, apparently with no intention of confessing. Those aren't exactly the choices of a pure heart.
[Everyone is bad, Douman! Accept it!]
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[And they hang their head, eyebrows knitting together. Yes. Even if someone was forcing her into things, she...still killed Eleanor, with no apparent reason for it, and then never even confessed, even though she later stated that she could easily switch places with someone in the graveyard at any time.]
I guess you're right. I had too much faith in her kindness. Now I can see that was more or less a sham.
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...It often is, in my experience. It's why I'm most comfortable with people like Mahito. [Who is not a person, but Douman probably knows what he means.]
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[There's a slight scowl at the mention of that name.]
I would not recommend throwing in your lot with curses. Then again, the very thought of it brings you a thrill, doesn't it?
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It's a bit late for that, comrade. [laughs in abyss.] I wouldn't call it a thrill. But everyone else here lost sight of their goals so quickly, and grew attached to each other. He and I seem to be the only ones who weren't so weak and foolish.
[In his biased and condescending opinion, which isn't even completely true because he's like || this attached to a couple people. But still. His point is that he's not Mahito's BFF 4 Life or anything.]
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[Yeah, Douman is going to raise an eyebrow at that.]
Is that what you would say to Medb?
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lifts a hand, pressing it to the back of his mouth to hide his smile.]
That's more or less what I told her, yes. [TERRIBLE.] She was very offended that I implied there was a chance she wouldn't kill me for her goals. That's the only reason we ever got as close as we did--I wouldn't have accepted it otherwise.
[Of course Childe couldn't have a normal fucking ship.
But he also doesn't know that Medb is furious at him for saving himself, so there's that]
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[Because even at Limbo at the reins, even he could tell that was a lady not to be trifled with.]
She's going to kill you the next time she sees you, you know. I think the gall of you surviving at your own hand that was quite a blow to her esteem.
[yeah they're just going to Say It]
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[Apparently he genuinely believes this because he looks a little confused.]
What? Why? We were fine, the week of my death.
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...They all believe you saved yourself, Childe. They discussed it in trial. She was quite angry with that.
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Well, he still looks kind of confused]
Yes, Lust told me as much. It's close enough to the truth, so I told her to let them think what they wanted. [but--] Why was Medb angry about it? Because I didn't tell her?
[congrats Douman you've unlocked the secret "dumb man" side of Childe's personality]
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[EMOTIONALLY AND MENTALLY LOOKS INTO THE CAMERA LIKE ON THE OFFICE]
Yes! Idiot! She went through all that trouble to kill you and then it turns out you may have saved yourself? Why wouldn't she be mad?
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WHY IS HE GETTING YELLED AT
He lifts both hands defensively, though he still looks bewildered. Poor Douman, having to deal with this.]
I was always going to die again shortly after anyway! [HE SAYS, LIKE IT WAS OBVIOUS, because it was.] Besides, just because it didn't stick doesn't mean it didn't count. She did a fantastic job killing me!
[Childe]
There was no use in mentioning it when I didn't even know if it would work or not. Lust told me she'd never seen a condemned survive an execution before. And it could only revive me halfway--they're the ones who brought me to the medical bay.
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[Sliding a hand down their face.]
For someone supposedly so smart, it seems like your head is filled with nothing but air. If she killed you again for your remarkable idiocy, I would say she deserves every moment of that.
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Why?!
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[LIKE...HELLO??]
She obviously cared for you and with that sort of move one would think you're a sociopath! Well....actually, maybe you are.
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Well,]
Technically, Lust saved me. I didn't ask her for that power.
[SO SOMEONE ELSE DID SAVE HIM by giving him the power to save himself...]
What was I supposed to do, waste it to make them all feel good? [Hah. He would never. And more importantly--] Lust would've been heartbroken. I couldn't do that to her even if I'd wanted to.
[not!sibling takes priority over kinda!girlfriend...]
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I'm not saying what you should or shouldn't have done. And Lust made her own decision. I'm calling you an idiot because you couldn't understand why Medb would be upset.
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